Uma Thurman plays Love Doctor Emma Lloyd who gives advice on a radio show. When she suggests that a female caller postpone her wedding, the jilted husband-to-be, fireman Patrick Sullivan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), seeks revenge. His downstairs neighbor, a young Indian boy who likes to hack computer systems, has just the solution; he marries Emma and Patrick.
When Emma goes with hubby-to-be Richard Bratton (Colin Firth) to apply for her marriage license she discovers that she is already wed. Emma goes to find her "computer-glitch" husband and annul the marriage. She finds him in a local bar where he gets her drunk and brings her to his apartment. The next morning, Emma rushes off to work where her Dad shows up with her Mom's wedding dress. Then both Richard and Patrick call her and she tries to juggle the calls. Then Patrick shows up with the annulment papers. For some reason she allows him to join her at the wedding cake tasting. The cake tasting scene is slightly funny. Emma and Pat pretend that they are actually engaged when a woman starts asking them questions.
Later that night Emma has a book-signing. The woman from the cake-tasting is there and it turns out that she is the wife of a Big Cheese who is about to liquidate Richard's company. But because she liked "Richard" at the cake tasting, she makes her husband meet him. Since "Richard" is actually Patrick, Emma has to think quick and tells everyone that the real Richard is her little brother. With some pressure from Emma, both Richard and Patrick agree to play along.
Emma,"Richard", the woman, and her Big Cheese husband all go off to an "Indian bar mitzvah." (Don't ask.) Emma and Patrick start to have fun and almost kiss, which freaks Emma out so she calls her Daddy and goes home. At last she can relax while Dad makes pancakes for breakfast. Well, until a teenage girl joins them in the kitchen. Emma thinks this is her Dad's new girlfriend and she storms out. (Later she learns it's the girlfriend's daughter and they all makeup).
Emma runs back to Richard who is happy because the Big Cheese had fun at the Indian party and has saved his job.
But Patrick still has the annulment papers. And when he goes to return them at her work, he and Emma have a hot make-out session in the elevator. So now Emma's confused again. She continues to give out her radio advice, but now she doesn't really believe what she is telling her callers. She goes to Patrick's apartment and sleeps with him.
The next morning, Emma discovers the truth about how Patrick met her when she looks in his trashcan. Super mad, Emma confronts him in the shower and runs out the door. He follows to explain. They just happen to stop in front of the store where Patrick's ex-fiancee works. He asks Emma "Do you know that woman?" Then he explains and tells her that he wanted her to know how it felt, to bring her down a peg. Emma runs off and then we see the requisite montage.
Emma decides to marry Richard. But the night before, while on-the-air, Patrick calls to tell her that he loves her. So Emma sits in the church knowing she can't marry Richard. Richard arrives and shows her that he never filed the annulment papers. "I know when I've lost" he explains. Emma then sets off the fire alarm and requests Patrick's Fire House to come to put it out.
The movie finally ends with Emma (in wedding dress) and Patrick driving off in the firetruck.
Filled with stereotypes, terrible lines and a totally predictable plot, this is one of the worst romantic comedies that I have ever seen.
Melody's Stars: Fail!
Rating System:
*****=Worth Buying
****=Worth Seeing in Theaters
***=Worth Renting
**=Worth Watching on TV
*=Worth Watching if also cleaning house or doing paperwork
0=Total waste of time
Fail=So bad it doesn't even make the rating system
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